why do people hear “fantasy” and think “british and irish accents”
know what i want? i want a fucking dark souls chosen undead goin round swinging their sword shouting “Y'ALL'DVE”
(via perks-of-being-chinese)
when i become a serial killer ill leave tapes that have mmm whatcya say in the mouth’s of all my victims
when
(via perks-of-being-chinese)
“i can’t think straight” i say. you laugh along, believing my joke to be solely about the fact that i am gay. little do you realize that in addition to me being gay, my mental illness causes debilitating cognitive distortions. i cannot think straight or in an orderly fashion
(via perks-of-being-chinese)
Yesterday i lost my glasses. And decided to document my frustration until……… I really wish this was planned, but i gotta admit, I took a big L.
“[defeated tone] So… I have…. lost my glasses. And I’m afraid to leave my bed because I can’t see… and I fear I might step on my glasses. So I’m sitting here with my bee pillow pet… and I don’t know what to do.
I need to get up. I wanna get food. I gotta exfoliate and moisturize, cause my skin looking atrocious right now.
What if… [deep breath] What if I die here, y’all? Would anyone even miss me?Like, really?
I want Enrique Iglesias to come save me. Like, the ceiling opens up and like, he comes down from like, a heavenly cloud with my glasses, and he’s singing. [imitating Enrique Iglesias] ‘Would you dance? If I asked you to dance? I will be your hero baby!’ And I just take my glasses and I’m like ‘Thanks yo! Put a shirt on homie!’
But life, life don’t work… life… [prolonged silence]
[camera zooms in on glasses]
[long silence; light chuckle] Enrique…”
This should win an Oscar
(via dutchster)
i think what’s wrong with me is that i don’t live secluded in a hut in the woods. i don’t bang enough rocks against enough things. i just haven’t forged any swords
(via thecommonchick)
1-22-17
new york city
in case u havent seen the stream; shia was released from jail
(via perks-of-being-chinese)
No, punching a neo-Nazi in the face does not make someone “just as bad as them.” Punching someone in the face is NOT equivalent to preaching, practicing, and supporting white supremacy, eugenics, racism, xenophobia, anti-Semitism, Islamophobia, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, and misogyny. Get your “Hug a Nazi and smother them with love,” bullshit outta here.
(via perks-of-being-chinese)
i told a lady i really liked ghosts and she said “are you being serious or are you just saying that in case one is listening”
(via hotboyproblems)
Source: asociate
Source: thecommonchick.com
